


Say Love

by ReclessAbandon



Category: Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Anon - Freeform, Confession Cal Kestis, Confessions, F/M, Fluff, Inspired by Music, Kashyyyk, Love Confessions, Oneshot, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Say Love by James TW, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, fic request, for anon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24389020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReclessAbandon/pseuds/ReclessAbandon
Summary: Not knowing when the next chance will come, Cal decides to take the opportunity to lets out the feelings he has been harboring for you.
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 68





	Say Love

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in my Tumblr, requested by an Anon

The liberating of the Wookiees was a victory indeed. It may be miniscule to the Empire, but to the partisans, it was a giant leap of faith.

You and Cal joined the partisans in retreating back to the landing pad, some of them have personally invited the two of you to come drink with them. It’s a tad bit early to celebrate, but it’s good of a reason to celebrate either way.

“Come on, we’ve ransacked their rations in the southern trench!” a partisan urged.

“Is it true that Imperial ration packs have liquor in them?” you inquired.

“That’s what we’re gonna find out! Come on!”

Like children in a schoolyard, the lot of you climbed over the wrecked walker and found an outpost on the ground. The blast door entrance had been damaged but your companions assured you that the goods are still intact.

“What do we got?”

“Usual foodstuffs, purified drinking water… Aha! I got a bottle of Dust Juice here!”

“Holy hell, they got Corellian alcohol here too!”

The soldiers murmured amongst one another, apparently discovering that each crate of rations had a different kind of alcohol stored in them—but by the bottle, perhaps meant for sharing. They gathered all bottles of alcohol on one side and then the foods in another. Each partisan carried a single bottle and whatever rations they can carry; you and Cal did the same.

You and your newfound comrades camped by the wrecked AT-AT, away from the eyes of the sterner adults who wouldn’t want anyone seen horsing around with the Imperial rations. All eight of you gathered around a power lamp that paled in comparison to an actual bonfire, thankfully enough, the weather in Kashyyyk isn’t too cold. Cal even borrowed Cere’s hallikset for this one occasion.

“Okay, okay, let’s just go with the classic game!” the same male partisan from earlier hollered, but was consequentially shushed by his more sober mates.

With an empty bottle of what was once Dust Juice, a single flick of his hand made the bottle spin. Everyone was either anxious or eager to know where the tip of the bottle will point to; they all leaned closer, nearly touching heads with one another. Eventually, you and Cal accidently bumped temples with one another and an awkward chuckle between the two of you followed.

“Sorry about that,” he chuckled.

“Nah, I’m fine. I mean, I got a thick skull,” you awkwardly joked.

The bottle pointed at one of the partisans, prompting them to close their eyes and reach out for one of the drinks that they mixed together—it was the dare of the game. All of you watched the poor, marked partisan hold out his hand towards the row of glasses, take one and then chug. Awaiting his reaction, his grimace made everyone laughed—apparently, it was a bad mix of Meiloorun juice and then Corellian brandy.

The game went on for a few minutes until an older partisan from the landing pad had spotted them, scolding them—except for you and Cal—and made them go to bed like children hanging out past their bedtime.

“Some celebration, huh?” you joked.

You leaned against the foot of the walker, resting your back and tilting your head to look at the stars. Cal fixed his gentle gaze on you while you’re too busy counting and tracing the constellations in the night sky. Every time he looked at you, he’s reminded of the one thought that has been troubling his mind ever since.

He has the words prepared, but they always go back right into nowhere when he parts his lips. When you ask him if there was something bothering him, he just ends up making up an excuse to lure himself away from what’s really in his mind. Of course, you’re too smart for that—he knows it perfectly well.

To shake away the thought, he distracted himself with a song he’s making up right from the top of his mind with the instrument, while sitting next to you. Light strumming twanged and chimed across the forest floor, you continue to gawk at the white dots riddling the dark blue sky; little did Cal knew that his thoughts were the verses to his wordless song.

“I wonder what you’re thinking right now,” you mutter out of the blue, practically startling Cal. “The same way you wonder what I’m thinking now.”

“Sorry, I thought I got a hold of my thoughts for a second there,”

“Oh, but you do,” you lowered your head to face Cal. A little chuckle escaped you. “It’s just that there’s this one thought that slipped.”

Even in the night, the vibrant red flushed across his face. You found it endearing to see his freckled cheeks burn a bright pink hue. Cal knew that you got him backed to a corner and there was no excuse to save him this time.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking…”

You bobbed your head slowly, mirroring how low he’s hung his head while waiting for him to continue.

“You and I have been going around together in a while and I guess it just happened to me naturally,”

“What did?” you pressed.

“I can’t explain it, [y/n], but I know I can’t deny it,”

For once, your eyes have truly met—not just with subtle glances or quick glimpses, but genuinely looking into one’s eyes and from there. From that exchange, Cal felt his chest become light, as if an AT-AT has taken one of its feet off of him; but after one weight has been removed, another replaces it—your would-be reaction.

Your breath shuddered and your palms got clammy all of a sudden. You fiddled your fingers, hoping that your circulation hasn’t halted for reasons unknown.

Not planning to keep Cal waiting, you take a deep breath.

“Cal,” you awkwardly chuckled. “I’m not that dense. You probably have sensed I was feeling the same thing for you too, but…”

Cal’s eyes lit up and then softened as fleetingly as a shooting star comes and goes, eager for you to finish.

You sighed, averted your gaze back to the stars.

“Everything’s just a mess right now—with the Empire and all our little endeavor with Cordova’s holocron—I’m just afraid that if I ever give myself to connect with someone, the consequence of loss will always scare me. I wouldn’t even _dream_ of losing you. I don’t wanna end up going back to the time I was alone, y’know? I guess that’s what the Jedi was trying to warn us about: attachment leading to fear, aside from that stoicism stuff.”

Your heart felt heavy, knowing that as much as you feel the same way towards Cal, the pressure and risks that came along with it frightened you. Not once did you ever doubt Cal, but with the Inquisitors constantly chasing you, how long until he’ll be caught in their net? You’ve been used to being alone and afraid of it at the same time, that you end up thinking of one too many outcomes of every situation that sits in front of you.

You awkwardly tried to dismiss yourself out of this situation. It was too emotionally exhausting for you to handle, even if you’ve already said your piece with Cal and have said every point in your mind. You bring yourself up, attempting to slowly walk out of this predicament while hoping that he doesn’t misinterpret your answer.

“You won’t lose me. I won’t leave you alone at all,”

That promise stopped you in your tracks, slightly glancing over his shoulder—hoping that he’d repeat what he said even if you heard it loud and clear—and watch him fiddling with the hallikset.

Cal felt like a door had been left open for him, but no one to greet him. He didn’t know what to feel with your reply. It wasn’t a “no” after all.

_Oh, what the hell, [y/n]?_

“Oh and by the way,”

Cal had little to no reaction time when you sat yourself next to him and cupped his cheek gingerly.

Your first kiss.

It was so sudden for him that his heart almost exploded through his ribs. He had his eyes open when you locked your lips with his, and when he realized what was happening, he kissed you back—savoring the lusciousness of your lips with hints of tonight’s liquor. He even _dared_ to dip his tongue into your mouth, a mischievous curl appeared at the corner of your mouth.

Finally withdrawing, you kept his cheek nestled under your fingertips, “Just so you won’t misinterpret what I said seconds ago.”

You left for real this time, leaving him flabbergasted in the best way possible. One quick look behind your shoulder and your eyes bade him “good night” as you walked back to the Mantis. He chuckled to himself, unable to firmly plant his fingertips against the frets of the hallikset and strum a single note. His free hand softly ran across his bottom lip, hoping to find more of the taste that your lips left in his mouth.


End file.
